worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
