I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
