Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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