I love black thongs
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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