I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
