come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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