just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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