I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
