u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
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