THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
