At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
