yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I think I sprained my soul last night
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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