his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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