kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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