you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Randomize
