Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
