Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
