Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
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My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
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I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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