STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
