I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
