turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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