Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize