I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
