you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My legs feel like baby dolphins
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
