In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
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