The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
