i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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