Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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