True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
