i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
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