allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
My feet surprised me
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