We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
