Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
