Whod you bang
i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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