super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Pants are for mortals
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