did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I deserve this hangover.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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