If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
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