Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Randomize
