I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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