who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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