It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
