I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
