he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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