and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
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On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
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I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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