Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
how does that bad decision feel?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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