Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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