so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
