I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
