Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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