the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I am one with the molecules
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
