my text book just quoted the cookie monster
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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