My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
