Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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