I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
