We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
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