this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
