I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
