strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I think my moral compass just broke
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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