People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
