I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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