saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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