dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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