I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize