How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
