Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
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