Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
