I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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